Sometimes we in the news business lose sight of our mission. We forget there's a perfectly good reason why we must resist the urge to impale ourselves on our Bics while covering school board meetings that drag on longer than the Broadway run of "Cats."
Newspaper writers rely on several survival tools: Note pads, tape recorders, flasks of gin stashed in the bottom desk drawer. But sometimes a fifth of Seagram's isn't enough to get us through a day of toil. That's why we sometimes implement an additional tool: The pun.
I figured out early on how fickle girls can be. I was 14 and nuts about a shapely, curly-haired classmate. We'll call her "Julie" because this column is published in my hometown newspaper and I want to safeguard her identity. And also because her name is Julie.