Viewpoints

Tue
17
Jan

Girls' minds change like the weather

I figured out early on how fickle girls can be.
I was 14 and nuts about a shapely, curly-haired classmate. We'll call her "Julie" because this column is published in my hometown newspaper and I want to safeguard her identity. And also because her name is Julie.

Mon
19
Dec

A serious gift -but a necessary one

"It's the most wonderful time of the year. There'll be much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near" ... or so old crooner Andy Williams sings every holiday season.

Mon
19
Dec

Therapy balls are a dog's best friend

Recently, I paid almost $20 for a pair of little rubber balls.

Mon
19
Dec

Bungling crooks still at large

A note to car thieves: If you're going to steal cars using a tow truck, learn how to operate the tow truck first.

Last month, someone stole a flatbed tow truck from a lot in Bloomington. Eyewitnesses stated the truck was purple and bore the words "Elite Towing."

Mon
12
Dec

Death awaits in the toy aisle

If you're shopping for Christmas presents for kids, consider yourself warned: Strawberry Shortcake can and will kill them. Don't be fooled by this freckled femme fatale's angelic smile: She's out to choke kids without so much as a government-mandated hazard warning.

Mon
12
Dec

The joy of fruitcake

I like fruitcake.

Perhaps I feel a kinship to the fruitcake, having been called a fruitcake more than once in my lifetime.

Maybe I just like those green cherries.

Thu
08
Dec

Shop 'til you drop

Thanksgiving has passed, and you know what that means. Well, for one thing, it means Andy Williams is being exhumed to perform one more Christmas special.

Tue
06
Dec

Your local TV snoozecast

You're watching Channel 13 Inaction News: Inane, insipid and irrelevant. Here are your co-anchors, Kent Coiffure and Becky Rhinoplasty.

Tue
29
Nov

Give the gift of reading this holiday

If you have book lovers on your Christmas lists, check out some of the newest and best releases from Minnesota authors.

Carmela's Cucina

Tue
22
Nov

The queen is dead

Alice is dead.

She belly-upped a few weeks ago. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, when I glanced over at the fish tank and Alice was on the bottom with her tail flopping in the water.

Hmm. That didn't seem like a good sign.

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