Viewpoints

Tue
08
May

This spells trouble for parents

Well, I don't know what we're going to do now.

Before, Wendy and I could discuss delicate topics in front of the kids by S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G O-U-T the G-R-O-W-N-U-P W-O-R-D-S. But now that our kindergartner Claire is learning to S-P-E-L-L, Mom and Dad are S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

Tue
24
Apr

We become our parents

Parenting was easier before I had children. Because back then, I had all the answers.

A few years of experience has taught me I don't know diddley-poo.

Tue
03
Apr

What's wrong wit' how we talk, eh?

Yah, hey dere. Say, I hope you can hep' me out wit sometin.'

Some so-called perfesser up to da college says dose of us in da Upper Midwest talk funny. Da heck, I say.

Sun
25
Mar

Why are we so weird?

In the past I've tried to defend my home state against its reputation as a breeding ground for weirdos.

Yes, Wisconsin produced Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer, but you can't hold an entire state responsible for two sociopaths, can you?

Mon
05
Mar

Heroism is a double-edged sword

Some weeks writing a humor column is tough. The jokes aren't flowing, the zingers have no zing, and Britney Spears hasn't done anything embarrassing for several days.

Sat
10
Feb

Parents get their just 'buzzerts'

My aunt Lucille still hasn't forgiven my father.

It's been nearly 30 years, and bell-bottom pants have gone in and out of style and back in again, yet she's holding a grudge.

Sun
21
Jan

They wouldn't skirt the issues

It was a headline that made every guy on the city hall beat rub his eyes and pinch himself:

"Bar dancers to run for City Council."

Is this heaven? No, it's India.

Sat
06
Jan

Kids' jokes are on you

Kids learn a lot at school. Unfortunately, a lot of it has little to do with what's being taught in the classroom.

Turns out the playground is a breeding ground for aspiring comics. Check out the gag my kindergartner brought home:

Wed
27
Dec

In 2007, resolve to have cleaner water

Only a few days remain to decide on your resolutions for 2007. It's time to ask yourself, what changes do you plan to make in your life to be happier, healthier and more productive in 2007? For years I made the same standard resolution: to lose weight.

Wed
27
Dec

New PC is a colonoscopy in a box

The lowly scribes at my local news shop have been working extra hard lately, but we hope the readers haven't noticed.

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